Adulting is hard
I find it insane how steeped I am in the hustle mindset/culture. Iβve been slowly burning out from all the things the past two and a half years and what did I think to do? Look for ways to do more. Not slow down, not rest. Why? Because I was afraid of losing whatever progress Iβve already made. Did grinding work? Of course, until it didnβt. I paid off my mounting consumer debt, lost 30 lbs, gained some muscle which helped relieve me of pain, finished two years out of my four year degree and more.
In return though, I was constantly underfed, exhausted from working out and lack of sleep, irritable and always sick. I always see the sentiment that in order to get to my goals (too ambitious probably), I have to make extreme sacrifices short term. I donβt know if this is the extent I want to do it though. Looking back, everything I did was half-assed. I lacked patience to wait for the result so everything I did was 200% effort with 50% result because I was juggling too much.
Now Iβm trying to change that. Being in a different country for a month made me shift my perspective. My world didnβt crumble when I wasnβt waking up at 4:00 in the morning to workout for two hours and proceed with my to-do list the rest of the day. Rest is good. So good. I knew that but thinking is different from doing.
For the rest of the summer before University starts up again in September, Iβm dedicating my time to giving myself true respite. I realized I donβt need to not do anything. Instead, I can rest by letting my day pass doing chores around the house, self-care, running errands and going to work but in a slower way. No strict schedule, not rushing, just taking my time. So far, its been working. Iβm ending my days pleasantly tired and fulfilled.
Not the restlessness I used to feel when I would do everything in a rush and then get lost in the planning and admin part at the end of the day, trying to optimize every corner of my life. I still get things done, and Iβm refreshed instead of stressed about it. Adulting is hard.